Ok groomsmen, this one's for you. Besides simply standing in a row during the ceremony, there seems to be a little confusion when it comes to the actual role that a groomsman should have in and leading up to the wedding. And that's understandable. While you may have been to a wedding, most guys haven't been in a wedding. There is a lot more to being a groomsman than just showing up. So we'll help shed some light on your responsibilities with quick game of "that's not my job."
1. Buying/Renting Your Tux
Ok, this one seems obvious, but honestly a lot of guys mess this one up. This IS, in fact, your job and one of the most important things for you to do. Don't pressure the groom to pay. It comes with accepting the honor of being a groomsman or best man. Renting is an affordable option!
2. Giving Opinions on the Venue, Cake, Music, Etc.
Let’s be absolutely clear: NOT your job. If you're not a fan of the menu or the DJ, keep it to yourself. The bride and groom have undoubtedly put a lot of thought, time, and money into the decisions they feel work best for them.
3. Planning and Paying for the Bachelor Party
This one is all you! Well, with plenty of consideration for the groom's interests and personality. Not every guy wants a crazy night, so make sure it's about him and not yourself. The groom should also not be expected to pay for anything. The cost should be split between the groomsmen. But, yes, take charge here and plan something unforgettable!
4. Deciding Where to Stand
This one is for the bride, groom and probably even the photographer to decide. Usually you'll be organized by height or in an aesthetically pleasing way for the pictures. The best man will stand beside the groom, holding the rings. Please don't do a last minute shuffle.
On the day of the wedding, no. A little louder for the people in the back: THIS IS NOT YOUR JOB. Unless the idea has been run by the bride, just don't do it. Want to give an impromptu speech or perform your best dance number? Go for it, at the bachelor party.
6. Asking for a Plus One
Do not do this. If it wasn't clear in the invitation, you don't bring a plus one. Not your grandma, not your dog, and not even your girlfriend. Asking will just put unnecessary pressure on the bride and groom. Trust me, they've considered exactly who to invite, so be respectful of that.
7. Throwing Shade at the Bride
One hundred percent, not your job. Your buddy chose this person to spend the rest of his life with. Insulting her or putting her down in any way is a one way ticket out of your friendship. It doesn’t matter if she's changed her mind on the color of the bow ties fifteen times and wants you to prance down the aisle in a bedazzled tiara. Being particular doesn't make her a "bridezilla." Instead, show your friend what a great choice he's made by highlighting her resourcefulness , organization, and other positive characteristics.
8. Be there for the Groom
Ok, this one is super obvious, but it's completely your biggest job to be there for your friend. And not just on the wedding day. Being a groomsman or a best man is a big commitment. You're signing up for engagement parties, the bachelor party, rehearsals, and whatever activities the groom has in mind. You need to be all in and follow through. Skipping any part of the wedding preparations or coming unprepared is just not being a good friend. Be the guy that shows up physically and emotionally for your buddy. He will need tons of support as he makes the biggest commitment of his life.
So stand by his side, have fun and for goodness sake, take care of your own tux. Be the groomsman you'd like to have and you'll give the groom the best wedding experience possible. - TLG Team